In college, I knew this girl that had an "illness" and she would talk about it all the time. Everything she did was somehow related to her "illness". Everything from her grades, campus activities, dating, etc. She managed to work it into every sentence like it was the one thing that MADE her!
Drove me crazy! I couldn't stand it.
Earlier this year I realized that I was just like her... only it wasn't an illness that I was letting define and limit who I was and what I did. I was letting my past do it. I don't even have a particular bad one... just a little disappointing. But I was letting things that disappointed me keep me from trying or believing that I do or feel certain ways.
So recently, on a trip to NYC with my amazing bestie, Allison, I meet this really wonderful guy. I thought he was really cute, smart, and funny. I had a great time talking to him. Then he started calling and I liked talking to him. Every day I liked him a little more. Then he asked about coming to visit me.
Freeze. This is the part where I usually shut down. The part where you have to take a risk. Twice in my life I've had someone that really cared about me ask me to take a chance of them and even though I wanted to... I punked out. Missed the boat. So I was seriously considering duck-n-dodge topic until he gave up.
Then I was realized what I was doing and decided it was silly. It wasn't that big of deal and I let him. I had a great time. I don't know where it's going or what it means. But I'm happy. Really happy.
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